Why do men do what they do

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 29/12/2006 - 12:43

For the guys who do the right thing and the women who don't.

From my divorce from my ex wife in Aug 1999 to just after my second marriage in Jan 2005, I looked after my two children, a daughter aged 7 and a son aged 4 when I gained voluntary custody. Whilst I had custody I worked and gave the children the best family environment I could.

My ex wife however, did everything in her power to disrupt our life, from moving interstate, not giving her address and contact details when she did access the children, turning up at strange hours demanding to see the children, to working in a brothel to avoid CSA payments.

At one time, my ex wife wanted custody returned to her and embarked on a mission to accuse me of child abuse, this caused me to have a breakdown. The court arranged custody allowed my ex liberal access to every weekend from 7 pm Friday night to 7 pm Sunday night as my ex had wanted, but she never used more than about 20% of her available time, with one year at 6%.

My ex remarried and thats where the real problems started, her new husband was no stranger to the CSA and soon worked out that with the court order and a few extra nights the CSA custodial parent percentage shifted from me being sole care to me being substantial care. I was then in the position, because of my ex's income, that I had to pay her maintenance.

Due to my ex wife and her new husbands meddling with the childrens lifes and thier encouragement for the children to live with them, my daughter eventually ran away to live with my ex and her husband. As I will not separate my children, and my son also indicated a desire to live with his mother (the grass is always greener over the other side of the fence) both my children went to live with my ex.

I tried to fight through the court, but my children were subjected to psychological evaluations in which they were versed to lie about their home life with me. It got to the point where I gave up, as to go further would not only hurt the children, but cost me money I could not afford to lose. I know for a fact from a third party that my ex and her husband gained custody of the children from me after over 5 years for the child support money they would gain (over $1000 per month) after I had received $21 per month from my ex for 4 years.

After years of trying to convince the CSA of the tactics used by my ex wife whilst I had custody without any luck, my ex managed to have here CSA payments withdrawn from my wages after about a week, this was after the CSA told me they only did this as a last resort.

Whilst the children lived with me, I bought a large 4 bedroom home to house my 2 children and my new wifes child. This home was purchased after carefully calculating mortgage payments and family costs. Before purchasing the home we worked out that it was costing us $400 per month for my 2 children, I offered my ex a private agreement for this amount, but she declined in favour of the CSA nominated amount.

the CSA's attitude to me during this time was for me to sell my home and get a smaller less expensive one, or rent. The whole affair made me sick and in the end I became unemployed as I worked in a job that required my attention at all times and I became a danger to myself and others.

My ex wife now receives $50 per month and she takes her anger out on the children who are suffering as she can't be bothered to do anything with them. their school work has nosedived and they are forced to walk a number of km's to school in inclement weather as my ex and her husband are too lazy to take them.

I also know from the third party that the children are not happy in their new environment, under normal circumstances the children would be put first by normal people, but as they are a trophy that was won in battle they are being held on to as to give them back would be to admit defeat.

I am too sick to take them back anyway. I have not won or lost, neither has my ex or her husband, for the sake of CSA money, the big losers here are the children.

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RE why me do

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 16/01/2007 - 20:53.

I have had a similar expeirence with the ex and csa, now my 2 older girls 17 and 18 dont talk to their mum at all. My 18 year old has a baby to which I was at the birth and see all the time and my 17 year old lives with me. But the problem is I still have two younger ones 11 and 13 who dont wont be there, but because of court orders I dont want to put the kids through a court to take them off her, It would only make her take it out on them, because that is the sort of bitch she is.
Her money hungry junkie boyfriend would cause so much drama, I just cant let the kids suffer it took three years last time in court and thats not fair on them.
I suppose Im trying to say if your a good dad you will win in the end but I know its hard right now ,I first went to court in 1996 so I have been there and know how it feels, but you do suffer for years, BELIEVE IN KARMA, my oldest daughters are my best friends right now and its great and my ex has only seen my grand daughter once in a shopping centre carpark.
So stay strong you are not alone, good things do come to those who deserve it.

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